I really want to get this down before I forget all the little details. These last two weeks have been probably the most life defining of my life to this point, and I will write about them later, but right now I just want to think of Zane's birth in all the joy that it was and without all the drama and emotions of the following days and weeks.
It was his due date, July 15th, 2010. How fitting that it would fall on the planned day, I am his mother after all and we all know how much I like plans. But I didn't know it was going to be that day when I woke up, all I knew is that I didn't think that our baby was moving as much. While Rob got ready for work, I downed a Pepsi in hope of jump starting the little guy and reassuring myself that everything was okay. At the end of the hour, I had only counted 6 movements which was not much. Usually when I did kick counts I felt 10 within a half an hour. Of course I was worried. As we ate breakfast I am sure Rob could tell that I wasn't letting it go, so we called Maternal and Fetal Medicine at LDS where we had previously had a Non-Stress Test (NST) and Amniotic Fluid Index (AFI) done. They weren't open yet, so we called my doctor's office. I told them what had happened and they said to come in for a NST right away.
Rob and I decided to drive separately because we figured that everything would be okay and he would go to work after and I would go home and do the laundry. We didn't take our hospital bag or anything. When we got there, they hooked me up and did a NST. It didn't look stellar but it didn't look horrible either and they said that I could probably just go home, but then Dr. Gemmell said that we should do an AFI too, just in case. So we went downstairs to have that done. It revealed that the amniotic fluid was very low. They had us go back up to the office and put us in a room. We waited there and then Dr. Gemmell came in and straight up said that I needed to be induced that day. I was shocked. That was not at all what I expected. I didn't even really know how to react. She explained her reasoning, that low fluid can be a sign that the placenta isn't functioning well anymore and that it would be best to just get the baby out now. I started tearing up and said, "Well, I guess we will go home and get our stuff" and she said, "No, you need to go up to the hospital right now." I was just stunned. I don't know what Rob was thinking and he probably didn't even get a chance to know what he was thinking because I was clearly upset and he set to task trying to make me feel better. We got in the car and called some people: my parents, Rob's mom and sisters. I didn't know how to feel. I was so disappointed to be induced. It was not at all in my plan and I really really really didn't want to go into labor that way. I needed reassurance and was searching for it by calling people. Rob was talking to all of them and I was just sobbing. We knew we had to go to the hospital so we called my dad and had him go to our house to get our hospital bag so he could bring it to us.
When we got to the hospital (which is just up the street from my doctor's office) I stalled again. We stood outside the elevators for a while, still talking to people and me still trying to feel okay about everything. We went up to Labor & Delivery and they just got us right to a room and started setting everything up. I asked if we could do another AFI. If that was the reason I was having to be induced I wanted to know that it was for sure really low. They hesitated to do that, but probably because I was so upset, they did it. And once again, it was determined that it was very low and not very safe for the baby anymore. It seemed like there was nothing I could do to stop this at that point and the tears of disappointment and anxiety just poured out. Rob gave me a beautiful blessing and then the IV went in and we were on our way. By this time it was about noon. I was already 2 cm and 80% effaced so we just sat back and waited for something to happen. I just cried in the bed for a while. I looked up on the internet about low amniotic fluid. That was bad and good, depending on the article I was reading at the moment. Rob and I talked, my dad brought our bag, we talked some more. My contractions were very close together right from the start, about 2 to 3 minutes apart, but I didn't really start to feel them until about 3pm. Around 4pm is when I had to kind of start breathing through them, but still, they weren't that bad. I sat on the birth ball and Rob rubbed my back.
A little after 5pm, Dr. Gemmell came to see how I was progressing. I was only 3 cm. That was disappointing. She suggested that we break my water and again I didn't want to. I wanted to have things happen on their own and it just wasn't going that way and I was not happy about it. Dr. Gemmell said that it would speed things up for me and that I didn't have much fluid anyway (which was true) so I let her do it. I asked her about being able to get in the tub, something the nurses told me wasn't possible, and she made it happen. That was wonderful. Then she left. My parents brought Rob some dinner and my contractions started getting stronger. We tried different positions during the contractions. I really liked just leaning against Rob and letting him hold me up as I relaxed my legs and stretched out my torso and belly a bit. Around 7pm I got in the tub and that was really nice. It was soothing. The contractions kept building (all the while never more than 2 minutes apart) and by 8pm they were really strong. No one had come to check on me at all. I guess because my water was broken, they didn't want to do as many internal exams because of the risk of infection. I was getting out of the tub to see if watching "So You Think You Can Dance" would help take my mind off things but the contractions started coming about everything 30 seconds and I started to think that I might not be able to do this. I kept saying to Rob, "They are coming so fast aren't they?" I started to not know what to do when I felt another one coming on and I began to panic a little each time, thinking there was no way I could get through another one. I was laying on my right side rocking on the bed. I had Rob call the nurse. I wanted to know how dialated I was. I decided that if I was only a 5 or something, that I was going to get an epidural. I was an 8 and 1/2!!!! I figured I could do it. They called Dr. Gemmell. She was at another hospital! I started to feel immense pressure and was worried that that was my body pushing, even though I shouldn't be pushing yet. I think Rob could see the worry in my face and that I didn't know what to do because he suddenly got very in control. Up until that point he had just done anything that I had told him to do but now he looked at me and very sternly told me to look at him, breath, blow out the candle and not to push. I am so grateful for that. He saved me in those moments of not knowing what to do. I told the nurse about the pressure and she said that pressure was good, it was the baby descending. Once I knew it was okay to be feeling that pressure and that I shouldn't fight it I felt okay and honestly the pain started to diminish and all I felt was pressure. I was getting tingly all over so they gave me oxygen to breath. I heard the nurse say to someone who was talking to Dr. Gemmell on the phone that I was complete and ready to go. At one point, the nurse even asked Rob if he wanted to see the top of his baby's head. As Dr. Gemmell made her way to the hospital (which seemed to take forever to Rob) I blew out imaginary candles, staring intently into my husband's eyes as I felt my baby descend. It was incredible. I knew right where he was in my body and by the time Dr. Gemmell got there, I was ready to push. They said I could stay on my side, they set everything up and Dr. Gemmell sat down. Rob said he was waiting for her to say something, but she just sat down and crossed her legs. The nurse asked me if I wanted to push on the next contraction and I did. I pushed twice through that contraction and knew part of my baby was out. I waited for the next contraction, pushed again and he was out! 8:53pm.
It was so fun to watch Rob. His eyes got all big and he said that our baby looked like me. He cut the cord and it was all so exciting! However, our baby was blue. He was on my chest for a few seconds and then was whisked away to be worked on across the room. My body was shaking and I was getting a few tears sewn up. I just figured everything would be fine. Meanwhile, Rob was a wreck. He was with the baby and things weren't looking very good. I am grateful I was not aware of all that. By the time I was sewn up and calmed down, they brought my baby back to me and we got to do skin-to-skin and it was amazing. His gorgeous eyes looking up at me, him nuzzling against me. It was bliss.We decided his name would be Zane. Rob held him for a while as I got out of bed and into the wheelchair. Then I held my baby as we were wheeled to our room, listening to the lullaby they played just for Zane.
Even though I was induced and had my water broken, the actual birth of my son was an incredible experience that I wouldn't change anything about. It is amazing what the body does and how it feels as a baby is born. I took those moments of amazement and no worries for granted, because the next weeks of our lives would be something I could never have prepared for. But those few hours before and after Zane was born will remained untainted by troubles for me as I remember them, the birth of our first son. Amazing.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
Baby Zane Robert Crockett is here!
Born at 8:53 PM. 7 lbs 13 ounces. 21 inches long. He's really cute!
Monday, July 12, 2010
Just Waiting. . . .
Well, we are just waiting. It is a little weird since we don't really know what we are waiting for, but we are just waiting for something to happen. I have been feeling great and I am very thankful for that, but for this coming week, I don't really know what to do with myself. Everything is pretty much ready: bag packed CHECK, car seat in car CHECK, crib ready CHECK, freezer stocked CHECK. Saturday we cleaned out the garage, Rob cleaned the bathrooms and vacuumed the house, we've re-read books... Now we are just waiting. We will keep you posted :)
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
4th of July!!
We had a fantastic Fourth of July Weekend! It started Friday, July 2nd. My family has had a tradition of going to the South Salt Lake Fireworks (Granite Fireworks) for as long as I can remember. They are held at Granite High School and there are booths and food and music and games and then the best fireworks show in the valley! It has always been a big part of our Fourth of July. All our friends and neighbors used to go together and there would be a huge group of us there with our blankets out on the lawn, just hanging out together. Rob had never been to it. We have been out of town for each of my birthdays since we have been married so this was his first time. When he got home from work we ran to Costco and then met my mom and dad and my brother and his family at the fireworks.
Look how cute my mom is!!!
Trying to blow bubbles....
We ate pizza, the kids played and we talked. It was great. The fireworks started around 10pm and they really are fantastic. They are as good or better than any fireworks show I have ever seen anywhere else. Rob was very impressed. And don't worry, I had a heavy duty blanket covering my belly so that it wasn't too loud for our little guy.
The next day, Saturday, July 3rd, Rob's mom and dad and four little brothers came to our house and we went to breakfast. They were here for the Crockett/Call Family Reunion which was up in Midway. It was so good to be able to spend time with them. After breakfast we hung out at our house for a little bit and then drove back to Midway via Big Cottonwood Canyon and Guardsman's Pass. It was a beautiful drive and at the top we stopped and went on a hike. Yes, I was 38 weeks pregnant, but I went on a hike on top of a mountain to a lake.
We had a little snowball fight at one point since there was still snow around. It was a fun little hike. Someone on the trail asked how far along I was and when I told them they were a little shocked. They said I must really want this baby to come.
When we got down to Midway we went to Granny's in Heber for shakes and then went to the condo to relax for a bit. That night we hung out there with all the family, had dinner, played ping-pong, made s'mores, visited. It was really nice and we are glad that we got to spend the day with family. We left before the fireworks because Rob had to do a little work.
July 4th I turned 27! It was a regular Sunday until after church. We went to my parents house for dinner and my grandparents, Uncle Bruce and Aunt Carolyn, and Taylor, Jac, Claire and Kyle were there. We had a fabulous dinner and my much anticipated requested dessert of homemade raspberry cashew ice cream and pineapple upside-down cake. It was soooo good! Thanks Mom!!
Me with the pillow my mom made.
I was holding the basketball for Kyle and it seemed a very opportune time to take a picture :)
CUTE KIDS!!!!
I got some wonderful gifts, lots of them having to do with the fact that I will be becoming a mom very soon. My mom gave me another wonderful pillow that she made for our couch downstairs. It turned out really good. We copied a pillow we had seen at a store. It was $75 dollars at the store though... My grandparents got me some beautiful earrings and a necklace. The cards were so thoughtful and special. I love spending time with my family. We lit a few street fireworks in honor of the day. (Although, when we asked Claire what we were celebrating she said, "Whitney's birthday!" My family has her trained well :) And I appreciate it). It was a fun 4th.
Monday, July 5th was the day everyone had off from work in honor of the 4th so we planned to go to a water park called Cowabunga Bay by our house with Tay and Jac and Claire. It was so fun! We got there right when it opened and spent about 4 hours in the lazy river and being splashed by a big bucket of water. They all went down slides ( I couldn't) and Claire was so brave and went by herself and had a blast. She was quite the swimmer in the lazy pool too, floating around and around in her life jacket. She wore us all out going from pool to river to slides and back again.
Preggers as can be!
See cute little Claire running into the picture? She is such a doll!!!
Afterward we went to In-and-Out and then got Slurpees. It was perfect. Rob took me to Eclipse later that day (he is such a good sport for going with me) and then we had dinner at my parents again.
We are so blessed to have such great families and to be able to spend time with them. It really was a great weekend.
Look how cute my mom is!!!
Trying to blow bubbles....
We ate pizza, the kids played and we talked. It was great. The fireworks started around 10pm and they really are fantastic. They are as good or better than any fireworks show I have ever seen anywhere else. Rob was very impressed. And don't worry, I had a heavy duty blanket covering my belly so that it wasn't too loud for our little guy.
The next day, Saturday, July 3rd, Rob's mom and dad and four little brothers came to our house and we went to breakfast. They were here for the Crockett/Call Family Reunion which was up in Midway. It was so good to be able to spend time with them. After breakfast we hung out at our house for a little bit and then drove back to Midway via Big Cottonwood Canyon and Guardsman's Pass. It was a beautiful drive and at the top we stopped and went on a hike. Yes, I was 38 weeks pregnant, but I went on a hike on top of a mountain to a lake.
We had a little snowball fight at one point since there was still snow around. It was a fun little hike. Someone on the trail asked how far along I was and when I told them they were a little shocked. They said I must really want this baby to come.
When we got down to Midway we went to Granny's in Heber for shakes and then went to the condo to relax for a bit. That night we hung out there with all the family, had dinner, played ping-pong, made s'mores, visited. It was really nice and we are glad that we got to spend the day with family. We left before the fireworks because Rob had to do a little work.
July 4th I turned 27! It was a regular Sunday until after church. We went to my parents house for dinner and my grandparents, Uncle Bruce and Aunt Carolyn, and Taylor, Jac, Claire and Kyle were there. We had a fabulous dinner and my much anticipated requested dessert of homemade raspberry cashew ice cream and pineapple upside-down cake. It was soooo good! Thanks Mom!!
Me with the pillow my mom made.
I was holding the basketball for Kyle and it seemed a very opportune time to take a picture :)
CUTE KIDS!!!!
I got some wonderful gifts, lots of them having to do with the fact that I will be becoming a mom very soon. My mom gave me another wonderful pillow that she made for our couch downstairs. It turned out really good. We copied a pillow we had seen at a store. It was $75 dollars at the store though... My grandparents got me some beautiful earrings and a necklace. The cards were so thoughtful and special. I love spending time with my family. We lit a few street fireworks in honor of the day. (Although, when we asked Claire what we were celebrating she said, "Whitney's birthday!" My family has her trained well :) And I appreciate it). It was a fun 4th.
Monday, July 5th was the day everyone had off from work in honor of the 4th so we planned to go to a water park called Cowabunga Bay by our house with Tay and Jac and Claire. It was so fun! We got there right when it opened and spent about 4 hours in the lazy river and being splashed by a big bucket of water. They all went down slides ( I couldn't) and Claire was so brave and went by herself and had a blast. She was quite the swimmer in the lazy pool too, floating around and around in her life jacket. She wore us all out going from pool to river to slides and back again.
Preggers as can be!
See cute little Claire running into the picture? She is such a doll!!!
Afterward we went to In-and-Out and then got Slurpees. It was perfect. Rob took me to Eclipse later that day (he is such a good sport for going with me) and then we had dinner at my parents again.
We are so blessed to have such great families and to be able to spend time with them. It really was a great weekend.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
DODGER STADIUM!
We spent last weekend in California at the Crockett Family Reunion. The Bob Crockett family has come to the point where we need our own family reunion in order to get us all together at the same time in the same place. It was wonderful to be together and Rob and I were very happy that everything in the pregnancy is going well so that we were able to be there.
We got there on Thursday night and watched a disappointing loss by the Lakers in Boston. Everyone was a little bummed. The next day Rob went with almost everyone to Magic Mountain (and he didn't get sick!) while I stayed back at the house with Debbie and Scott and the little kids. We went swimming and ate lunch and the kids watched a movie. It was a good day.
That night was something very exciting for me and Rob. Rob loves Dodger Stadium. Something about loving the team and memories from his childhood. . . .I bought him a big framed photograph of Dodger Stadium for his home office. I had never been to Dodger Stadium. My dad and brother are also big Dodger fans, so I grew up hearing about the Dodgers and cheering for them. So Rob really wanted to take me there, especially since we don't live in California and don't have that chance very often. Well, Friday night was it. We went with the whole family to see the Dodgers play the Angels at Dodger Stadium.
The whole gang! We took up a whole row :)
Here is my 35 week belly shot :)
Diva was fascinated by my belly! And she has officially named the baby Joseph. Hmm, we'll see.
We had so much fun! Unfortunately the Dodgers didn't have as much fun. They lost 10 to 1. Ouch!
Saturday we spent the day at the beach and then had scrumptious burritos and Carly's guacamole. Mmm. That night we had a hilarious evening laughing so much! Everyone was telling stories about each other and then we played a game called THINGS that also made us laugh. I seriously laughed so hard for so long I was worried I would induce labor! It was so fun. We were just hanging out. That is the best part about family reunions I think. Just hanging out together. And I can't forget to mention the Ultimate Oatmeal Cookies Lindsay made. I have never seen cookies disappear so fast! I really love this family and am so glad that I am a part of it.
We also received some adorable gifts for the baby, some cute cute clothes from Baby Gap. This kid is going to be dressed so cute! That is for sure! Now we just can't wait to meet him! Grandchild #6.
Sunday everyone made it to sacrament meeting and then Scott took me, Rob and Ryan to the airport. It was a great weekend full of what life is all about: family, food and fun! Cheesy, but true eh?
We got there on Thursday night and watched a disappointing loss by the Lakers in Boston. Everyone was a little bummed. The next day Rob went with almost everyone to Magic Mountain (and he didn't get sick!) while I stayed back at the house with Debbie and Scott and the little kids. We went swimming and ate lunch and the kids watched a movie. It was a good day.
That night was something very exciting for me and Rob. Rob loves Dodger Stadium. Something about loving the team and memories from his childhood. . . .I bought him a big framed photograph of Dodger Stadium for his home office. I had never been to Dodger Stadium. My dad and brother are also big Dodger fans, so I grew up hearing about the Dodgers and cheering for them. So Rob really wanted to take me there, especially since we don't live in California and don't have that chance very often. Well, Friday night was it. We went with the whole family to see the Dodgers play the Angels at Dodger Stadium.
The whole gang! We took up a whole row :)
Here is my 35 week belly shot :)
Diva was fascinated by my belly! And she has officially named the baby Joseph. Hmm, we'll see.
We had so much fun! Unfortunately the Dodgers didn't have as much fun. They lost 10 to 1. Ouch!
Saturday we spent the day at the beach and then had scrumptious burritos and Carly's guacamole. Mmm. That night we had a hilarious evening laughing so much! Everyone was telling stories about each other and then we played a game called THINGS that also made us laugh. I seriously laughed so hard for so long I was worried I would induce labor! It was so fun. We were just hanging out. That is the best part about family reunions I think. Just hanging out together. And I can't forget to mention the Ultimate Oatmeal Cookies Lindsay made. I have never seen cookies disappear so fast! I really love this family and am so glad that I am a part of it.
We also received some adorable gifts for the baby, some cute cute clothes from Baby Gap. This kid is going to be dressed so cute! That is for sure! Now we just can't wait to meet him! Grandchild #6.
Sunday everyone made it to sacrament meeting and then Scott took me, Rob and Ryan to the airport. It was a great weekend full of what life is all about: family, food and fun! Cheesy, but true eh?
Sunday, June 6, 2010
SHOWER
My mom, Gramine and our friend Janet threw us a shower on Saturday. It was wonderful! Such a gorgeous day and such a fun time. Janet opened up her beautiful backyard to us and I think everyone had a really nice time.
They had a spread of food set out on a decorated table (salad, chicken salad sandwiches and fruit) and got the cutest cake!
The cake was a baby! It was chocolate and almond flavors. Sooo yummy!
Lots of people were able to make it: aunts and grandmas and cousins and friends. We are so blessed to have so many wonderful people in our lives! We love them all and are so grateful for all their kindness and generosity. We are set after this shower!
They had a spread of food set out on a decorated table (salad, chicken salad sandwiches and fruit) and got the cutest cake!
The cake was a baby! It was chocolate and almond flavors. Sooo yummy!
Lots of people were able to make it: aunts and grandmas and cousins and friends. We are so blessed to have so many wonderful people in our lives! We love them all and are so grateful for all their kindness and generosity. We are set after this shower!
My mom and me with a blanket my sister-in-law made for us.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND
We had a really good weekend this last weekend. Rob had a long hard Friday, working into the wee hours of the morning. Fortunately he can work from home so we still got to eat dinner together. I just hung out at home with him while he worked. But I am not kidding when I say that he had to work almost all night. I went to bed mid-nightish, he joined me hours later and then he slept in in the morning while I made cookies for my Sunday School class. When he got up he mowed the lawn (something he will have to do every nice weather Saturday until the little guy that is coming to our family is old enough to) and then we walked to the Yogurt Stop, our new favorite place. It is a yogurt place that lets you serve yourself your own yogurt (there are about 10 choices of flavors) and put your own toppings on and then they charge you by the weight of it (35 cents an ounce). It is so yummy and only a pleasant walk away. I love taking walks right now, being 8 months pregnant it is great for me. And it is fun to be with Rob. I have a feeling we will be going to the Yogurt Stop a lot in the next few weeks. They also have smoothies and bobas (which remind Rob fondly of his days at Berkeley) which is what we got this time. It was 50% off day to celebrate their anniversary so we planned to go there again that night :)
When we got home, Rob weeded and I made a salad for dinner. Then we went to the mall and looked at maternity swimsuits. I am going to need one for our trip to California but I just couldn't bring myself to justify paying over $30 for something I was going to wear only a few times, so we left empty handed. (Sunday I tried on my regular swimsuit and it works out just fine so that is what we are going with.)
My parents came over that evening to have burgers grilled on our new grill and watch Game 6 of the Lakers v. Suns. We went to the Yogurt Stop during half-time and enjoyed a glorious victory by the Lakers. GO LAKERS!!
Sunday my brother was put into the bishopric in their new ward. He is the first counselor. Congratulations!! Crazy. We went to Ogden to support him and to watch my dad ordain him a high priest. It was so good to be there. I am proud of my brother. He is truly an incredible person that has grown so much in his life and has shown me what it really is to progress toward our divine potential as children of God. I love him and hope he knows it.
Rob and I both had to teach on Sunday so we rushed back to our ward to teach and then enjoyed a dinner altogether with my family at my parents house. After dinner we went to visit Loren's grave. I miss him so much. I wish Rob could have met him.
Monday we slept in again (we have to enjoy it as much as we can while we can), went to the Yogurt Stop again (for smoothies and bobas) and then went for a little hike up Little Cottonwood Canyon.
It was a gorgeous day and we really enjoyed our time together. I did pretty good considering the belly!
Afterwards we went to a pool party at the Hansen's house in Alpine. There were lots of people there and it was good to see friends and family, especially Chris and Janice and the boys. Gavin and Gabriel are so big now! 2 years-old! and doing so well! We spent the afternoon eating food and visiting with everyone. Then we met my parents at the movies and saw "BABIES." It was an interesting look into parenthood all over the world. The U.S.A. was represented by a totally hippie couple. One of our favorite parts was when their little girl got up during the "earth is our friend" trippy group song thing and ran for the door.
We ended the weekend with another trip to the Yogurt Stop. Mmmm....
When we got home, Rob weeded and I made a salad for dinner. Then we went to the mall and looked at maternity swimsuits. I am going to need one for our trip to California but I just couldn't bring myself to justify paying over $30 for something I was going to wear only a few times, so we left empty handed. (Sunday I tried on my regular swimsuit and it works out just fine so that is what we are going with.)
My parents came over that evening to have burgers grilled on our new grill and watch Game 6 of the Lakers v. Suns. We went to the Yogurt Stop during half-time and enjoyed a glorious victory by the Lakers. GO LAKERS!!
Sunday my brother was put into the bishopric in their new ward. He is the first counselor. Congratulations!! Crazy. We went to Ogden to support him and to watch my dad ordain him a high priest. It was so good to be there. I am proud of my brother. He is truly an incredible person that has grown so much in his life and has shown me what it really is to progress toward our divine potential as children of God. I love him and hope he knows it.
Rob and I both had to teach on Sunday so we rushed back to our ward to teach and then enjoyed a dinner altogether with my family at my parents house. After dinner we went to visit Loren's grave. I miss him so much. I wish Rob could have met him.
Monday we slept in again (we have to enjoy it as much as we can while we can), went to the Yogurt Stop again (for smoothies and bobas) and then went for a little hike up Little Cottonwood Canyon.
It was a gorgeous day and we really enjoyed our time together. I did pretty good considering the belly!
Afterwards we went to a pool party at the Hansen's house in Alpine. There were lots of people there and it was good to see friends and family, especially Chris and Janice and the boys. Gavin and Gabriel are so big now! 2 years-old! and doing so well! We spent the afternoon eating food and visiting with everyone. Then we met my parents at the movies and saw "BABIES." It was an interesting look into parenthood all over the world. The U.S.A. was represented by a totally hippie couple. One of our favorite parts was when their little girl got up during the "earth is our friend" trippy group song thing and ran for the door.
We ended the weekend with another trip to the Yogurt Stop. Mmmm....
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